Pina coladas..palm trees...

I havent updated in a whileI think its about timeI propably haven't updated, due to the fact that my life isnt remotely exciting at the moment. Haha its kinda nice for a change actually. Todd called me last night. I adore him, seriously. And he's a trip too, haha i love it. He really seems to know what he wants to do, and is really at peace with all that. I think thats awesome. Good for you todd :)got $200 back today, kinda nice.It also occured to me today, that I HAVE SOMEONE LIVING WITH ME THIS SUMMER <33 And i have to get my shit together.. haha. Theres a lot that i gotta do. Earlier this week, i had my final interview..O_o I'm Head guard at the beach this year *flexes* ;) no.. But there are not many jobs where you are half naked most the time, and get paid for it. ha.. But its a fun job none the less,but you gotta know what you're doin. June 14th the beaches open. We have some ridiculously brutal extra training the week before. Werd to 50 degree water, when the air is like 60. Ohh pre - season training. haha i think we all dread that. If only i lived somewhere remotely warmer then this pos state :) California anyone? I'm up for a move ;)Anyway, Whats with anorexia and bulemia becoming trendy? Mm i cannot tell you how many of my girl friends have started that. I'll admit, the whole throwing up thing ive done a few times. =/ (before i knew what self respect was, and had none) but Hi. The whole throwing up everything, im not all about. I can't look at it.It feels disgusting.just no. GROSS. i'm over that. I guess its kinda hard, living with a mother who modeled for Ford in NYC for a few years, and who still to this day has an eating disorder. ha i love it when people come up to me and ask me if i model. my response " oh hell no" I Saw what it did to my mom. No Thanks. She'll always make sure im looking as good as i can,(this is why i feel i have to look perfect all the time) if not, she'll comment.. whatever. pisses me off. Its so nice once in a while to throw on a hoodie, eat shitty food, wear no makeup and just chill, and be happy with that. <3 I love it2#^#$&#$. Ever since ive been little, I've been brought up to be the girl, my mom always wanted.( too bad her and i disagree all the time) ;) . "Each step is closer to perfection" When no one is perfect, and i personally think flaws are amazing, they make us who we are. Anyhow the point is, its scaring me to see everyone so unhappy, let alone the girls i love and adore, and hi, i think they're beautiful. But being girls... enough is never enough.. and you're never "perfect"... so the cycle continues. im sick of watching my friends fall into it. Just <3333 =/ you're beautiful.respect yourself, PLEASESchool ends the 23rd. And R-E-L-I-E-F. Haha. I have one more huge paper, and when thats done.. its all over with .And let me tell you, for that i can't wait. *dances*Im headed out for a run for an hour.. weeeI also have a wonderful person in my life, that brings out the absolute best in me, and for him.. I'm so greatful.Hope everyones doin' well. If you need anything let me know. Okay?.. :)