edit. Ian...

edit. Ian called today, my cell rang during dinner, and i almost choked. He hasnt been shipped out.They've been out doing field drills and all that, what a relief to hear his voice :)but yeah SeriouslyThis is getting ridiculous...My mom and I don't get along at all. I guess without a husband around, its hard doing it all. I can't imagine being in her place. I just miss him so much sometimes =/ especially when i get upset, he always knew what to do, and i could talk to him. I never had that kind of relationship with my mom. I was such daddys little girl. And now.. everythings so forced. I know she loves me.. just. See im the one, always " i love you mom" or giving her hugs. B/c im affectionate like that, shes not that way at all. Its a push and pull. I guess our relationship will never be exactly what i want.. And i have to be okay with that. Like today.. She went crazy. no literally, and its like i get blamed for all the issues in her life. its just.. ridiculous. Oh and shes NEVER wrong.. in her eyes. so that doesn't make things any easier. I do love that woman to death <3 When i think of strength, class, and beauty- i immediately picture my mother. Anyway, enough bitching. Did some shopping today. Pre spring break ( GOD I cant wait to haul ass out of here) Haha Abercrombie.. the shorts.. let me just say. literally , they are 2 inches long. And im talking EVERY single pair in the store. They look cute as hell on. But hi, do i want a tan ass cheek showing when i walk down the street. haha exactly, NO. But i got a lot.. almost too much today ;) 4 days... im counting down the hours.. literally.. Ah and i missed real world tonight. damn GAH Trish(trash)-chelle and steven.. ahh reruns.g'night. I love you all.dream sweet